Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Colbert Report, Report

My esteemed coworker David Lidsky was the only one to spot this bit on the Colbert Report last night.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

$10 to show me your tits, Anya. Another fiver if I can spank your bare ass.

You know you give it to your publisher for free... but I'll spare you the facial and the sticky shit in your hair. You seem too high class to jerk off on on the first date.

Anonymous said...

When I was just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about being broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AH!) These motherfuckers are thinking I'm playing
Thinking I'm saying the shit cause I'm thinking it just to be saying it
(AH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gonna shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AH!) Shut up slut, you're causing too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, OK Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! [*chainsaw revs up*]
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Anonymous said...

"Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nothing but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gonna never stop beefing I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for popping off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't said
But when they kill me - I'm bringing the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nothing but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you (ah-ha ha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you.."