High School: Could it be Worse?

Crisis in Education Report: Our High Schools May Not Adequately Prepare Dropouts for Unemployment (The Onion, natch)

Some educators say the report paints too bleak a picture of schools' efforts to instill students with a lack of ambition.

"We are doing a terrible, terrible job," said James Dunham, the principal of HS 445 in New York. "We literally could not be doing any worse."

Dunham highlighted the fact that the hallways of his school are lined with vending machines that sell nothing but unhealthy snack products such as soda and potato chips, both of which acclimate students to the diet of a jobless lowlife.